Same boat, Lou. There are a few things that set my blood on fire and one of them is standstill. It is the ultimate test for me, which is ironic because when I look around most people are just relaxed listening to music or whatever. Glad you enjoyed this.
Brilliantly said. The peace and ease our "world" can enjoy is a gift beyond measure, but there is no doubt it does not prepare us for other "worlds" and therein lies the risk. A balance is needed.
Suffering in silence has its rewards, although it’s hard to see while suffering, you find out what you’re made of and things that used to seem difficult, are no longer,
This post reminded me how much I’ve relied on these sayings , these have helped me overcome the desire to make excuses or complain over the years.
1 Excuses are like buttholes everyone has one and they all stink
2. If you complain without proposing a solution that’s called wining.
3. And the old favorite, When the going gets tough the tough get going.
You're welcome! It is a definitely a challenge, and these sayings all help. All it takes is a good reminder every now and then and the mind gets back on track.
If you’re chronically ill, complaining wastes precious spoons. I’m sympathetic when others need to vent, but I find other kinds of catharsis more fruitful.
Where does this idea of "life should be painless" come from? Why do we expect things always to go smoothly? Why are we so easily discombobulated? Why do we focus on one little shit, ignoring all other blessings in our life. Why do we continue to complain instead of either doing something or accepting the situation once we have discerned that there is nothing we can do but endure and perservere?
Whining/ complaining do not help, in any way, we know that. Contrary! And yet.. lol
I think I will be fighting with this until the day I die...
Thank you!!! Putting things in persective always helps!! :)
If the Marines of the 2nd Marine Division had had Navy Frogmen prior to the landing on Tarawa, while it still would have been bad, it would have been a Hell of a lot less deadly, than it turned out to be. The photos of dead Marines floating in the surf and on the beach at Tarawa were released to the American public. George Marshall and FDR felt it was time the American people had the war brought home to them. Marine Corps OCS in the mid 1970's was a mind grinding, physically grueling grinding mess of no sleep, hot and tired, cold and tired, chiggers and whatever else the enlisted instructors could come up with to send the weak packing. Like the Oregon Trail, the cowards never started and the weak died on the way. How vain Americans have become, to endlessly and incessantly complain about....everything. They have come to believe that Special Operators like the SEAL's, Delta, Force Recon can solve all our problems. They forget freedom is a choice.
We few, we lucky few, have made our choices. We can rest easy that we did something, whether at the highest most complicated levels such as you and SEAL Team boat mates, or driving a ship, standing watch at 1000 feet below the surface of the sea, or just as straight leg infantry Marines working on the basic war fighting skills to be ready, to be ready, to be committed no questions asked.
Sam, this was great post! Keep up the great material. It brings up interesting brain waves, some funny, some not so funny. We all know there is no point in complaining, its just a matter prevailing, of persisting. That said, when my Marines were not bitching, lost their gallows humor, and especially, had gone quiet, I knew we had a problem! But there is a big difference between one's latte being not frothy enough and the WifI being too slow, and waking up at 0400 to bus out the rifle range to fire for qualification in Camp LeJeune July summer heat.
This was a brilliant riff - thank you for dropping it here. Your last nuanced comment about complaining as a healthy sign in a military unit is spot on. I didn’t include that caveat to keep the essay short, as there is a use for complaining when it comes to being healthily uncomfortable to prepare for even worse hardship, but that is like PhD level management of suffering.
No doubt you know the old saw about complaining, but what the Hell it bears repeating. We young Marines of Mike Co. 3/2 had been in the field for a week, nothing but long hot days and mosquitos and humidity at night. We dragged our sorry asses out of the field with an 8 mile rout step back to the Battalion CP, only to find the buildings closed for an engineers survey. No shade, hot July day, damn near out of water and no chow. We settled into the deck and our packs and one young Lance Corporal woefully exhaled and said “man things couldn’t be worse!” Well the company Gunny was walking by at that moment and upon hearing this lament said “Cheer up Marines thing could be a lot worse. You too Lieutenant, cheer up!” So of course we all cheered up! Even me! And sure enough things got worse! As you know all too well it is this non complaining complaining that sets us apart. As one ages it becomes ever more apparent of that which is important and that which is not. But, still losing one’s mind at the stalled traffic is fair game, we earned it. I reread the whole post. Really hit home on a several levels. Great stuff.
Really appreciate the story, Charles. The military has a way of making things get worse, shifting that baseline for misery further and further away. Your story was great.
Sam- yet another thought-provoking piece. As an earlier commenter mentioned, complaining does seem like a luxury or sorts. In the extreme, it morphs into excuses of why something can’t be done. I find myself thinking what the world would look like if we didn’t have people like yourself who serve our country and don’t complain. Scary thoughts… Lately my thoughts have been on how we teach the next generation to have a can-do attitude instead of a so what approach to society.
I think about that a lot as well. It a crucial question and no one seems to have an answer. The old school philosophies found in military make sense because it trains for hardship - how do you convince a population to train for hardship when times are easy? When they have a million other tasks that need to be done? I hope that in part it is through the sorts of writing that you and I and others are doing here. By remembering that times of luxury never last forever.
Often I think that humans are "designed" for some degree of hardship. After a traumatic period (e.g., rough childhood, war), many have a positive worldview/ability to adapt that is lacking in those who've experienced a life without any struggle. Like you say, perhaps writing and bringing up these ideas is one way to provoke reflection.
I can’t help but think there is another option that sometimes exists; take control.
About this time, years ago, I escaped the office to work in a local coffee shop I enjoyed. The Wi-Fi was too slow, and as you suggest, I endured. I did what work I could offline, and drank in the change in atmosphere. However, before I left, I ran a quick scan of the Wi-Fi channels and realized that the solution was trivial. I shared my findings with the owner, which they appreciated, and were able to fix… for everyone.
Granted, this was a pretty low-stakes situation. I’m sure others complained; I have to imagine some people pulled that cord and left; but every now and then, I think we have a chance to make change too.
100%. I would bucket that under the suffer in silence category along with blowing the obstacles on the beach. Control is key and it is a simple choice in the end. Another commenter made a similar point about still cursing and complaining a bit (which I still heavily succumb to) as long as the job still gets done. These are all great points
Bob Dylan was only able to vaguely allude to this concept that you have so vividly rendered. "He not busy being born is busy dying," (It's Alright Ma I'm only Bleeding). https://youtu.be/9tGMbt4-8wg?si=6zzbqYkuCqu-YgVB
As one who recognizes he’s cycling through another “whiny b:;$&” era, this was a fabulous and much needed splash of icy Atlantic water in the face.
I think of how we (well, I, at the very least) can get all crab assed when the missus or kids make “demands” of of us or question our choices, and how too often we clap back with a complaint of our own. Do we really want to pull the ripcord in those cases? Are such scenarios really worthy of any options other than simply quietly accepting of the situation at hand?
For that matter, are we so flippin’ arrogant to place such moments on a par with the matters of Normandy pre-dawn of 6 June 1944? Uhhh, as of late it appears so.
That splash of Atlantic brine? Just woke my sorry tail up, big time. Thanks, Sam.
You're very welcome! It does seem to come in cycles. I can only hope given how intense this cycle of complaining was, we are in for a renaissance of suffering beautifully.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; **and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.** But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
After letting Thanksgiving traffic unlevel me, this is the stark reminder I needed. Thanks, Sam — great stuff as always.
Same boat, Lou. There are a few things that set my blood on fire and one of them is standstill. It is the ultimate test for me, which is ironic because when I look around most people are just relaxed listening to music or whatever. Glad you enjoyed this.
It’s irrationally frustrating!
Becouse, you dont control the time and couse pf standstill
The gap between how we train our war fighters and how we raise our young men and women may have grown a bit too wide for our own good.
Brilliantly said. The peace and ease our "world" can enjoy is a gift beyond measure, but there is no doubt it does not prepare us for other "worlds" and therein lies the risk. A balance is needed.
Sam, one can “suffer” in silence enduring anything else as trivial after you used this example of “life or death”. You nailed it.
Thank you, Barry, that comparison seems to solve a whole lot of minor problems.
Thanks for this reminder!
Suffering in silence has its rewards, although it’s hard to see while suffering, you find out what you’re made of and things that used to seem difficult, are no longer,
This post reminded me how much I’ve relied on these sayings , these have helped me overcome the desire to make excuses or complain over the years.
1 Excuses are like buttholes everyone has one and they all stink
2. If you complain without proposing a solution that’s called wining.
3. And the old favorite, When the going gets tough the tough get going.
You're welcome! It is a definitely a challenge, and these sayings all help. All it takes is a good reminder every now and then and the mind gets back on track.
Complaining is a luxury belief.
Undoubtedly so. It is the Louis Vuitton of beliefs.
I agree.
If you’re chronically ill, complaining wastes precious spoons. I’m sympathetic when others need to vent, but I find other kinds of catharsis more fruitful.
Well said, Nita.
Where does this idea of "life should be painless" come from? Why do we expect things always to go smoothly? Why are we so easily discombobulated? Why do we focus on one little shit, ignoring all other blessings in our life. Why do we continue to complain instead of either doing something or accepting the situation once we have discerned that there is nothing we can do but endure and perservere?
Whining/ complaining do not help, in any way, we know that. Contrary! And yet.. lol
I think I will be fighting with this until the day I die...
Thank you!!! Putting things in persective always helps!! :)
We all need it. I deal with it daily - it is a good fight!
True. Me too. No doubt! Grateful for the awareness alone and my rather questionable progress are still better than the pity pot.
If the Marines of the 2nd Marine Division had had Navy Frogmen prior to the landing on Tarawa, while it still would have been bad, it would have been a Hell of a lot less deadly, than it turned out to be. The photos of dead Marines floating in the surf and on the beach at Tarawa were released to the American public. George Marshall and FDR felt it was time the American people had the war brought home to them. Marine Corps OCS in the mid 1970's was a mind grinding, physically grueling grinding mess of no sleep, hot and tired, cold and tired, chiggers and whatever else the enlisted instructors could come up with to send the weak packing. Like the Oregon Trail, the cowards never started and the weak died on the way. How vain Americans have become, to endlessly and incessantly complain about....everything. They have come to believe that Special Operators like the SEAL's, Delta, Force Recon can solve all our problems. They forget freedom is a choice.
We few, we lucky few, have made our choices. We can rest easy that we did something, whether at the highest most complicated levels such as you and SEAL Team boat mates, or driving a ship, standing watch at 1000 feet below the surface of the sea, or just as straight leg infantry Marines working on the basic war fighting skills to be ready, to be ready, to be committed no questions asked.
Sam, this was great post! Keep up the great material. It brings up interesting brain waves, some funny, some not so funny. We all know there is no point in complaining, its just a matter prevailing, of persisting. That said, when my Marines were not bitching, lost their gallows humor, and especially, had gone quiet, I knew we had a problem! But there is a big difference between one's latte being not frothy enough and the WifI being too slow, and waking up at 0400 to bus out the rifle range to fire for qualification in Camp LeJeune July summer heat.
This was a brilliant riff - thank you for dropping it here. Your last nuanced comment about complaining as a healthy sign in a military unit is spot on. I didn’t include that caveat to keep the essay short, as there is a use for complaining when it comes to being healthily uncomfortable to prepare for even worse hardship, but that is like PhD level management of suffering.
No doubt you know the old saw about complaining, but what the Hell it bears repeating. We young Marines of Mike Co. 3/2 had been in the field for a week, nothing but long hot days and mosquitos and humidity at night. We dragged our sorry asses out of the field with an 8 mile rout step back to the Battalion CP, only to find the buildings closed for an engineers survey. No shade, hot July day, damn near out of water and no chow. We settled into the deck and our packs and one young Lance Corporal woefully exhaled and said “man things couldn’t be worse!” Well the company Gunny was walking by at that moment and upon hearing this lament said “Cheer up Marines thing could be a lot worse. You too Lieutenant, cheer up!” So of course we all cheered up! Even me! And sure enough things got worse! As you know all too well it is this non complaining complaining that sets us apart. As one ages it becomes ever more apparent of that which is important and that which is not. But, still losing one’s mind at the stalled traffic is fair game, we earned it. I reread the whole post. Really hit home on a several levels. Great stuff.
Really appreciate the story, Charles. The military has a way of making things get worse, shifting that baseline for misery further and further away. Your story was great.
You brought me to tears. Thank you for giving me an opportunity and a honorable way out. I hope I can still be sarcastic in comments on Substack…?
Sarcasm is always welcome
Sam- yet another thought-provoking piece. As an earlier commenter mentioned, complaining does seem like a luxury or sorts. In the extreme, it morphs into excuses of why something can’t be done. I find myself thinking what the world would look like if we didn’t have people like yourself who serve our country and don’t complain. Scary thoughts… Lately my thoughts have been on how we teach the next generation to have a can-do attitude instead of a so what approach to society.
I think about that a lot as well. It a crucial question and no one seems to have an answer. The old school philosophies found in military make sense because it trains for hardship - how do you convince a population to train for hardship when times are easy? When they have a million other tasks that need to be done? I hope that in part it is through the sorts of writing that you and I and others are doing here. By remembering that times of luxury never last forever.
Often I think that humans are "designed" for some degree of hardship. After a traumatic period (e.g., rough childhood, war), many have a positive worldview/ability to adapt that is lacking in those who've experienced a life without any struggle. Like you say, perhaps writing and bringing up these ideas is one way to provoke reflection.
Like steel by hammer, make it usefull and hard
I really enjoyed the read Sam!
I can’t help but think there is another option that sometimes exists; take control.
About this time, years ago, I escaped the office to work in a local coffee shop I enjoyed. The Wi-Fi was too slow, and as you suggest, I endured. I did what work I could offline, and drank in the change in atmosphere. However, before I left, I ran a quick scan of the Wi-Fi channels and realized that the solution was trivial. I shared my findings with the owner, which they appreciated, and were able to fix… for everyone.
Granted, this was a pretty low-stakes situation. I’m sure others complained; I have to imagine some people pulled that cord and left; but every now and then, I think we have a chance to make change too.
100%. I would bucket that under the suffer in silence category along with blowing the obstacles on the beach. Control is key and it is a simple choice in the end. Another commenter made a similar point about still cursing and complaining a bit (which I still heavily succumb to) as long as the job still gets done. These are all great points
Beautifully written and something I needed. Thank you.
You’re very welcome.
Bob Dylan was only able to vaguely allude to this concept that you have so vividly rendered. "He not busy being born is busy dying," (It's Alright Ma I'm only Bleeding). https://youtu.be/9tGMbt4-8wg?si=6zzbqYkuCqu-YgVB
This is great! I'm also stoked to see his biopic - hopefully it does him justice.
As one who recognizes he’s cycling through another “whiny b:;$&” era, this was a fabulous and much needed splash of icy Atlantic water in the face.
I think of how we (well, I, at the very least) can get all crab assed when the missus or kids make “demands” of of us or question our choices, and how too often we clap back with a complaint of our own. Do we really want to pull the ripcord in those cases? Are such scenarios really worthy of any options other than simply quietly accepting of the situation at hand?
For that matter, are we so flippin’ arrogant to place such moments on a par with the matters of Normandy pre-dawn of 6 June 1944? Uhhh, as of late it appears so.
That splash of Atlantic brine? Just woke my sorry tail up, big time. Thanks, Sam.
You're very welcome! It does seem to come in cycles. I can only hope given how intense this cycle of complaining was, we are in for a renaissance of suffering beautifully.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; **and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.** But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
Excelent
Thank you Jan.