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Kyle Shepard's avatar

“Suffer beautifully.” Incredible piece as always brother.

I often reframe the word love to acceptance. There’s obviously a semantic difference between the two emotionally, rationally, however, I’m not sure there is.

Complete acceptance of a person or circumstance is rational, unconditional love that can allow focus to remain on what we can control. Still playing with the idea but that reframe helps me with the concept of amor fati in response to life’s most difficult trials.

Appreciate you 👊🏻

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

I like this distinction. I appreciate it Kyle.

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Dee Rambeau's avatar

“The second is to burn the world and everyone in it to ashes in anger that expectations were broken—nihilism.”

This is the option most revealed in today’s culture.

Good one Sam. The world keeps coming (fate) and we can only choose how to respond.

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

Thank you Dee, I'm stoked you enjoyed it.

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Andrew Perlot's avatar

I've always graded myself on a Excellent/Adequate/Fail rubric for confronting hardship:

Idea: "The game is afoot, boys! Let's throw ourselves into the maw and see what we can do."

Adequate: "I will endure this like I have endured my other misfortunes."

Fail: Anything else.

I'm not sure if Niezche's love of fate is how I'd describe my first response, but perhaps an eagerness to grow stronger through the test, an eagerness to live well.

I think Epictetus's framing of this, while less poetic and less likely to inspire, more my style:

"Don’t seek that all that comes about should come about as you wish, but wish that everything that comes about should come about just as it does, and then you’ll have a calm and happy life."

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

It is far more realistic. I too prefer Epictetus's, all the more so because it is so gruff and visceral and pragmatic. The man knew how to cut through every excuse imaginable.

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The Radical Individualist's avatar

"Expectation Society". Perfect! These days, those who proclaim their 'rights' are merely insisting on being provided for.

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

Well said. I think we have an idea how this will play out in the long run. Reality is not very good at giving something for nothing.

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Barry Lederman's avatar

Sam, you are tackling subjects that most of us, as humans only can, avoid. My “excuse” for avoidance is that one doesn’t know which path we will choose at the “moment of truth”. So, Carpe diem!

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

Thank you, Barry!

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Timothy Sheehan's avatar

Sam: that was quite the eye opener for me today, both literally and figuratively. I felt a visceral discomfort reading it; upon finishing it some relief as my mind caught up. I’m in for the long haul with you on this trek. Let’s go!

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

Thank you for digging in, Timothy.

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Majik's avatar

One would like to think that one will die well, noble in the face of one's fate, especially a horrific one . . . but all we can be sure of is that we will die, nobly or ignobly, bravely or cowardly, stoic or hysteric. I guess all we have left are our hopes of glory thereafter . . . or maybe nothing . . . but we pray there's no hell, huh?

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

It truly is a binary and completely up to us. Thank you for the comment, Majik.

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Majik's avatar

I think that I disagree that how we face our fates is “completely up to us,” but we’ll all soon find out one way or another. Good thought-provoking post. Thank you for writing it and giving me something practical to think about.

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Adam PT's avatar

I listened to this one. Absolutely gripping, man. These words changed my state.

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

Rock on, Adam. I'm grateful you got something from it.

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Jesse C. McEntee's avatar

Yet another excellent piece, Sam. Owning our suffering is a powerful frame of mind that I'll apply. Also, I like the idea of seeing fate as a luxury belief. And if it isn't a luxury belief, then the subject has likely drowned in denial or anger.

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

Thank you, Jesse. The luxury belief concept is long overdo and applicable in so many realms. It is one of the reasons I dig your work—you cut right through it.

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Robert Childs MD's avatar

Bullseye ! But the target continues to move, shapeshifting endless interpretations of aphorisms. No target, no aim, no expectation, pointless actions, achievement becomes relegated to Fate. Intention and desire have taken a permanent vacation, and satifaction is nowhere to be seen. "Fate" surrounds us from the moment of our arrival, but the aphorism shift rebrands it as "Luck". "I cry in question marks, my sole possession is my fate" said the hobo muttering gibberish under a bridge as four impressionable teenage boys passed by. They recorded the impact of the encounter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKLPVLZJ-g

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

You've given me something to think about, Robert. Thank you for deepening the rabbit hole of aphorisms as a mirror.

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Enda Harte (The Irish Stoic)'s avatar

Fantastic read man!

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

I'm stoked you enjoyed it, Enda!

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Anthony Wanis Stjohn's avatar

Something has been missing for me lately in the my world. I wondered what did I need for the next phase of my journey. Jung and Campbell had guided me to new enlightenment. Alaimo was pointing to another guide post. I went to my library Tuesday to do what I had not done in ages...get lost in the stacks and see what books were in proximity to the ones I was seeking, and I was seeking The Discourses of Epictetus. I wanted to turn pages and smell the old paper, and there were plenty of cool things to grab from adjacent shelves. The edition I found had an interesting little note by the translator, and his own journey as a preacher, abolitionist, women's suffragist, legislator, educator and soldier were more signs I had found something beautiful and needed for me at this time. Much more to say, but I think I will write you about it sometime. Your post here reminds me strongly of Epictetus and his approach to suffering and how in confronting it, it no longer controls us. We are free to be ourselves paradoxically.

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