37 Comments

No, I've never been on a life or death patrol in the jungle. But like many, I have had to make decisions that in some cases were insignificant, but in others could be disastrous. Going slowly, stepping carefully, is what you do when you recognize the significance of the consequences. Other times you are more callous, because consequences are not so dire. So, before you decide what to do, determine how much it matters. I've seen large, established businesses go bankrupt over what seemed to be an inconsequential decision.

In the past, life was largely about survival. It didn't have to be life and death; it could merely be about bringing in enough crops and cutting enough firewood to get thru the winter. Mundane but essential.

Many people today have 'careers' that are essentially pointless. It doesn't matter if they're good at it. Sucess is largely indistinguishable from failure, and there is essentially no risk or reward beyond a steady paycheck and benefits. Out of that, some question their existence. They should.

Expand full comment

These are hard words, and true. It makes me wonder how much good can be done if everyone asked the hardest questions of ourselves like this?

Expand full comment

I agree. Sadly, so many now, don't know what that means... to "question their existence". They sense the gaping black hole. It unnerves them so they medicate it... with social media, substances (legal or otherwise), sex, or a self-imposed blindness.

Mundane but essential. For sure.

Expand full comment

That's right. The variations for escaping it are infinite.

Expand full comment

My immediate response to the question of boredom is what I told my sons when they would claim to be bored. Boredom is the lack of application of imagination to you current situation. In effect, always be advancing, even one step a day, a week, or a year, and, be curious. I like this story because it has a domestic component to it. However, the further I read, my mind went to Jonathan Shay’s two books on Vietnam combat experience, seen through the lens of Homer. Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character, and, Odysseus in America: Combat Trauma and the Trials of Homecoming. I end up thinking about the resilience of hope, brotherhood, and purpose as the measure of character as exhibited in the story of Admiral James Stockdale and his leadership as a POW in Vietnam, https://edbrenegar.substack.com/p/hope-that-is-real.

Expand full comment

Thank you for the thoughtful comment as well as for the book references. I have not heard of either but need to add them to the list. I believe your comment about imagination is right on. When the environment doesn't force our attention, it is up to us.

Expand full comment

I love the idea of stalking the veins of a fig leaf. Great essay — as always — Sam.

Expand full comment

It is oddly addicting. I appreciate it Lou.

Expand full comment

Good question “what causes boredom?”. I believe it is a personality trait. I believe that there is NO TABULA RASA as does Steven Pinker. We are born with it. Who becomes a SOG or a SEAL? There is no time for boredom. The enemy is time. For me it found itself in running. Beat “your personal best” in a 10K, marathon, triathlon, train in the morning, after work…Then your body says to ones brain, enough, find something else. As you said, there a many things and your enemy is time again. I got up at 4 to work on my next essay and I get your gem. Again, time is the enemy ;)

Expand full comment

"The enemy is time". 100% Barry. Pushing the physical limits is one of my favorites as well. Little else makes us feel alive.

Also I appreciate the surge of motivation knowing you get up at 4am to write. I need to up my game...

Expand full comment

I still can’t believe how much you write and on great topics every week. I am much slower in this department. Mother Nature overrules all of my activities except a few scheduled client calls. Our “gentleman farmer” club finally planted Vidalia onions. Here, Mother Nature wiped out most of the Vidalia growers during the recent flooding disaster.

Expand full comment

It’s a labor of love.

And I’m sorry for your onions! I will practically stand outside to protect my fig trees in a storm, so I feel your pain.

Expand full comment

Sam: first, on Pope, great reference. Second, when we choose, accept, and thus invite boredom we forsake the positive aspects of change and negate the essential necessity of embracing the fluid nature of our current circumstances. My .02

Expand full comment

Great thoughts Tim, thanks for jumping in. That "fluid nature" is what life is all about. It is a shame how easy it is to pretend it doesn't exist.

Expand full comment

Our individual dissonance might be to blame; I also “credit” hubris, which snares the best of us at times…

Expand full comment

Another great one, Sam. A lot of timely points being made in here. This one will stick with me for awhile: "...for stalking, in the end, is a mode of mind."

Expand full comment

I struggled to gin up that last sentence. It is strange how an essay can write itself but the last culminating sentence can be the most difficult. I think it encapsulates it. I appreciate the feedback.

Expand full comment

It's a mode of mind I should always be in. Otherwise, it feels like a waste. I know it's not conducive to "modern" living, but I'll try.

Expand full comment

Agreed. It definitely is not conducive - in fact I think it is the cure.

Expand full comment

Fantastic writing. One struggle we have though is that most of us aren’t in life or death situations where your body dials up your senses to 10 for necessity of survival. How do we stalk the leaf with consistency, is it just pure mental effort and a consistent exercise of concentration, even when your surroundings don’t dictate it? Cheers

Expand full comment

Andy, yes, it is what I referred to as a stalking mode of mind. I agree - without the external stressors, it is extremely difficult to attain that level of intense engagement. My sense is that is why we have always been in awe of Buddha-like figures in history, people who are able to live in that state permanently. It really is an art form and one I work on continually.

Expand full comment

I heard it put another way “if you’re bored it’s because you’re boring”

Expand full comment

Agreed! I was showing how boredom can only arise when the environment allows it to arise. After that, it is up to the person to be boring or not.

Expand full comment

Another noteworthy post.

Thanks yet again, Brother.

Expand full comment

You are most welcome.

Expand full comment

Thank you. This is the most compelling read I have had in a long time, and definitely since I have been on Substack. This is the content I crave to read.

I haven't known boredom since I enlisted in the Army in January of 1982. I too found Zen in the Stalk. My mentor was my 1st Sgt. Troy Graham - a SF MACV SOG Combat Veteran, and a man I loved like a father. He was one of the greatest teachers I have ever known, and as an old man now, I carry the memory of him in my heart, so that I don't forget about the dangers of boredom, convenience, and ease. Stay alert/Stay alive. Embrace the suck and make it submit, because even the enlightened must chop wood and fetch water in order to live with peace of mind.

Expand full comment

I'm grateful you found value, and I'm thrilled to hear your mentor was SOG SF.

This may be one of my favorite comments to date: "Embrace the suck and make it submit, because even the enlightened must chop wood and fetch water in order to live with peace of mind."

Thank you for dropping this here and sharing your perspective. This is how to bring to substack a harder, more ancient mode of life like this.

Expand full comment

🙏🏻🫡 Your writing was the inspiration. I concur with your assessment. Stoicism is a very valuable education, but it must be lived to be of any practical value. Thank you for such a great story elucidating this practical necessity we all need. HOOAH!

Expand full comment

I agree with this premise — there are few atheists in foxholes and even fewer bored people.

"A touch of death can make a glance at the veins of a leaf feel as though we were touched by God," as Sam says.

I've never gone to war, but I've thought I might die, and when mountain climbing — even with ropes and cams offering a modicum of safety — the concentration required cuts through the noise and leaves a kind of peace. Even with partner acrobatics, the focus is intense — I could miss or misremember the next step and my partner ends up on the ground with a broken neck. Attention is mandatory.

And this attention, these flow states, feels exquisite. Contentment and insights flow from them. This is why so many people seek dangerous hobbies — to feel alive because they demand focus. And war is a version of this, as Sam suggests.

I'm not sure I would use the exact framing or terminology, but I do think we can bring aliveness many things in our life.

"And so a book may be stalked.

A jiu-jitsu session on the floor may be stalked.

A meditation on the veins of a fig leaf, a run in the woods, an actual back and forth conversation on something that matters — it and everything else in life may be stalked, for stalking, in the end, is a mode of mind."

Expand full comment

It feels "exquisite" indeed. It is the stuff of life.

Expand full comment

I can confirm that there are plenty atheists, agnostics, and everything else you can imagine in foxholes. Though almost nobody fights that way anymore.

Nonetheless, plenty of atheists, agnostics, santeríans, and every other belief system known to mankind - are outside the wire - in the woods, on patrol... Stalking.

Expand full comment

A+ as always. Love this idea of stalking goals.

As I was reading this piece, I was thinking about the example of the Daisy Fresh story of dudes living on jiu jitsu mats, flat broke, but exuding a deep sense of purpose and community: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t03TqJ7-Oiw

Then I saw your mention of stalking jiu jitsu, so maybe you've already seen this story :)

Anyway, there's this beautiful little montage at the end of the first episode (around 38:00) where the host asks them: "Where would you be if not [flat broke sleeping on the mats training to your max capacity every day]?" And it's a list of "oh I'd be in jail" "I'd have killed myself" "I'd be deep in drugs again" etc

Expand full comment

This video is gold. I think we're on the same page. These outlets are the life source for many of us. I appreciate the share.

Expand full comment

Fine essay about boredom and the “modern” world. We’re not designed for such ease. With a less activating challenging (in a good way) environment, we need to develop an “engagement” mindset. Good work Sam! 👏

Expand full comment

I’m stoked you enjoyed it Baird, thank you for the note.

Expand full comment

It's clear that first world problems are an outgrowth of first world wealth and comfort. One of my favorite projects was "Hungry Planet: What the World Eats". Time magazine did a spread in 2005 of a normal family in countries around the world and their average weekly food consumption.

https://time.com/8515/what-the-world-eats-hungry-planet/

We took one of ourselves back in 2008. Wish I could put it up here.

As you peruse the pictures eventually the discerning mind sees a pattern. So very interesting back then and even today.

I'm struck by these lines from your essay:

"The nature of missions in war are different in that if we sacrifice life-at-this-second, we compromise the mission. This prevents the all too dangerous allure of dedicating life to a future goal we may never live to see, and wasting the present moment which is all we will ever have. This is why time slows in combat: existence depends on all five senses dialed up to their greatest intensity."

This, is this why so many good men have trouble assimilating back into the world, the world of ease?

Expand full comment

This is a great article in Time! There is much to think on here.

To your last question, I believe that is a large reason why the re-integration is so difficult. The maxed out senses and life or death purpose is nearly impossible to replace... nearly. Replacing it becomes a thing worth living for itself.

Expand full comment